Secret of Attraction

Tag: men

  • Becoming More Attractive to Women

    The problem with most men is that when they are around attractive women they feel the need to gain their approval by being overly nice, courteous and so on. The problem is that this puts her in the position to lead and if she is leading she will never feel that spark of attraction for you. As mentioned previously, women are attracted to strong and confident men and a strong guy will never allow a woman to lead.

    Funnily enough, the best way to spark that fire of attraction is not to need her approval and to show her as much. The trick is to make her work for your attention rather than the other way around. This will unbalance her cool and aloof approach to men simply because you are doing something so unexpected and out of the ordinary she will be hard pressed not to at least be curious about you.

    The more you appear like you don’t need her approval, the more confident you will appear and confidence is very attractive to both women and men. So, the more confident you can act in every situation, the more attractive you will be.

    However, remember that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. While arrogance may be appealing to a certain degree, too much of it will make you look like a total jerk.

    Appearance

    Yes, women are more attracted to personality rather than looks, but this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t make yourself as presentable as possible. This is because women make a lot of decisions based on very small details. For example, if you are too casually dressed then she will think you are simply too lazy to look after yourself and therefore will probably have an unkempt home and you would probably present too much work for her to be bother with.

    On the other end of the spectrum, if you overdo your appearance and look too put together, she will automatically think that you probably spend more time in front of the mirror than she does and she doesn’t want to date someone who is more interested in himself than in her.

    Yes, getting the right balance is a little tricky but as long as you look after yourself and that includes losing the beer belly, you will find that more women will be attracted to you. All you have to do is pick up a magazine and see what’s in fashion, spend a few dollars on some new clothes and away you go.

    One thing is for sure, though. If you go around wearing a pair of jeans that have seen better days and you look nine months pregnant, you can be certain that attractive women will not give you a second glance.

    You see, it simply comes down to the fact that women take time to make themselves more attractive to men, and it does take a lot of time and work, so they expect the same consideration in return, which is natural. So, if you really want to be able to date any girl then you need to get your act together, forget the six pack every night and hit the gym. And don’t start whining that you can never look like the muscle bound studs that are on the cover of romance novels. No one expects you to, but you can get yourself in shape which will not only help you find more success with women but you’ll also be healthier which means you’ll have more years to enjoy life.

  • Women Offer Advice, Men Offer Solutions

    What many women don’t seem to understand is that men are completely different. They process information differently, they relate to one another differently, they express themselves differently. However, a woman who understands these differences will become a priceless gem that men will adore. John Gray, in Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus explains it wonderfully: “Love is magical, and it can last, if we remember our differences.”

    In fact, it is these exact differences between men and women that spark passion and love because otherwise men wouldn’t need women and vice versa.

    Understanding Men

    Yes, it is quite possible to understand men and it is probably easier for us to understand them than the other way around. And no, you haven’t stepped into an episode of the Twilight Zone.

    First of all, you need to understand that men are primarily driven by success and accomplishment. They value tangible results, efficiency and power and everything they do is geared towards proving themselves.

    Men won’t sit around and talk about their feelings, instead they prefer to engage in competitive activities where they can win. It gives them the chance to show off their superiority over other males.

    You won’t find a man reading the latest issue of People or Cosmo but instead he will read the sports section of the paper or the news. He cares little about romance novels because he is more interested in things rather than feelings. And he likes things that help him express power, whether a fancy sports car or the latest gadgets and gizmos.

    Solutions vs Advice

    Men are goal driven and they feel good about themselves when they manage to achieve their goals because they prove that they are worthy and competent. If they do so on their own then that is an even greater testament to their power and strength.

    Because men are hardwired to solve their problems on their own they rarely talk about them. When they do, it means they need advice and help.

    If women can understand this side of men, then they will understand why men hate being corrected or advised without asking for it. It makes them feel incompetent and they feel that you don’t trust them to solve the problem.

    This is also why men tend to offer solutions when women talk to them about their problems. It is because if another man were to share his problems, it is an unspoken request for help so he feels honored to provide a solution.

    When he provides a solution for the woman he loves, it is an expression of his love but when a woman gets upset because she perceives that he isn’t listening or emphasizing he has no idea what he did to upset her. The result is that he withdraws and basically blocks her out.

    Dealing with Stress

    Men also deal with stress differently than women do. A woman will talk about all her problems with her friends, who will instinctively know that she needs a little support and understanding so they empathize. On the other hand, men tend to withdraw and focus on a different activity so that they can tune out their problems until the following day when they have to handle them.

    Unfortunately, most women think that he doesn’t care about her or is ignoring her because he isn’t talking about his problems with her when it’s simply a matter of how men deal with stress differently than women. You have to accept the fact that it is unrealistic to expect a man to open up immediately to you when he is stressed just as it is unrealistic for a man to expect you to calm down and be rational and logical all the time.

    You need to understand that if he withdraws to watch football or read the newspaper, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, it simply means he is very stressed. You need to learn not to take it personally and to give him a little space. Also, if you ask for his attention in a calm and relaxed manner you will find he will be much more responsive than if you start the blame game.

  • Physical Appearances

    While this might be considered a little shallow, unfortunately, there is nothing we can do about the fact that men are visual creatures. This doesn’t mean that you have to stop by the plastic surgeon in the morning to remodel yourself into a Victoria’s Secret runway model. Far from it.

    However, there are certain things that make women much more attractive to men. For example, men absolutely adore long hair on women. It is a sign of femininity and the only thing they love more than long hair, is to see that long hair pulled up in a pony tail. The reason for this is because it has a slight sexual connotation by showing off the graceful curves of your neck.

    Also, if you adopt a more feminine style by wearing dresses and skirts more often, you will find that more men are attracted to you. This is simply because women tend to appear softer and more feminine in dresses and men are attracted to that like bees to honey.

    Last but definitely not least, high heels. Yes, heels do something amazing for your posture and make men fall head over their proverbial heels. One reason is because you tend to move slower and more gracefully when you are wearing high heels. It’s virtually impossible to walk at breakneck speed or be less than graceful in high heels. Not if you don’t want to break your neck that is.

    Also, you know you feel absolutely amazing inside when you are wearing heels. It gives you a new confidence because you feel taller and more attractive. You basically feel on top of the world. And this confidence shines through and men pick up on it. There’s nothing more attractive to a man than a woman who is comfortable with herself and is confident.

  • Women Use Words, Men Tune Out

    When women are upset with their man they think that the best solution is to get him to sit down and talk about it. She’ll start talking a mile-a-minute and a man will eventually tune her out. Then she will get upset that he isn’t listening to her and he doesn’t understand why she is complaining because “I can tell you everything you said.”

    You need to brand the following phrase into your mind MEN HAVE SHORT ATTENTION SPANS, especially when it comes to problems. You see, men have a silly habit of presuming that every issue you talk about is in some way his fault, even if you aren’t trying to accuse him. He will then try to explain himself, which will make you even angrier and then everything degenerates into a shouting match.

    Unfortunately, men don’t respond to shouting or lectures because it is a form of competition. However, men do respond to seeing the woman they love in pain and they do so tenfold if they feel she isn’t blaming them for her pain. Men will move mountains to put a smile back on the face of the woman they love.

    So, instead of launching into a long explanation about what is upsetting you which will have him tuning out soon after you start, try a different approach. Simply tell him what you are feeling but keep it short and sweet. You will find he responds much better and will be much more motivated to correct whatever he might be doing that is upsetting you.

    Another great way to get his attention without trying to compete with him is to simply walk away and keep your distance. Yes, initially he will be fine but soon he will start wondering if you are upset with him and then he will come to you. When that happens he will be more receptive than if you had to force him to sit down and have “the talk.”

    Men Don’t Want to Compete With Their Woman

    Men really don’t want to compete with their woman. They don’t marry for competition because they get enough of that in other areas of their lives, from work to their friends. What they want is someone they can confide in, someone they can have fun with and someone who will be loyal to them.

    Men want peace and they want to please their wife or girlfriend which is why men avoid conflict in their relationships as best they can. Conflict, for a man, equates to a competition and men are hardwired to do everything they can to win any competition. Since most men don’t want to win over their mate, they will end up withdrawing.

    Therefore, if you take a different approach and simply refuse to argue and, instead, use your feelings to disarm him, you will find that you are actually the one in control. Think about when you were a little girl and you wanted to get something from your Dad, what did you do? You used your feelings, making him feel like the best father on the planet and you would twirl him around your little finger, no matter how much trouble he would get into. It was all to make his little girl happy and put a smile on her face because it made him feel good.

    The same holds true in relationships and if you can relearn the art of using your feelings, you will find that your man is much more responsive to you. He will want to do things for you simply to please you and see you happy because that is what makes him happy. There’s nothing more important to a man than the knowledge that he can please his woman.